إِنَّمَا الْمُؤْمِنُونَ إِخْوَةٌ فَأَصْلِحُوا بَيْنَ أَخَوَيْكُمْ وَاتَّقُوا اللَّهَ لَعَلَّكُمْ تُرْحَمُونَ

All believers are but brethren. Asad(49,11) [11] Hence, [when­ever they are at odds,] make peace between your two brethren, and remain conscious of God, so that you might be graced with His mercy.

Quran: 49:10

 

 

A friend emailed me and asked to write a paper on friendship in Islam. And I began thinking about friendship in Islam, and despite the ease I expected to be able to write something with, my mind went blank. Seriously, I thought about it a great deal, and then realised I don’t think it really exists.

 

Now you may find this to be strange, especially those of you that know me, but seriously I realised I don’t think friendship exists in its traditional sense in Islam. Now before you think the northern boy has gone mad. Let me refer you back to the ayat I opened with, and then let me ask you, in the face of the brotherhood that Allah sent down do we really have friendship? If we are a single community, then are we friends with some and not friends with others? As being a friend to someone typically involved making a distinction between someone and the general masses, and giving that person certain extra privileges and a place in your heart, yet how is that when everyone from the believers is granted that position, as Allah says;

 

إِنَّ هَذِهِ أُمَّتُكُمْ أُمَّةً وَاحِدَةً وَأَنَا رَبُّكُمْ فَاعْبُدُونِ

VERILY, [O you who believe in Me,] this community of yours is one single community, since I am the Sustainer of you all: worship, then, Me [alone]! Asad(21,89) [89]

Quran: 21:92

 

Allah Subhana granted the nation of Muhmmad Ibn AbdAllah, something truly special, he granted them something called brotherhood. He joined the followers of the mercy to mankind with something between their hearts, and that is brotherhood and a love, which I have already spoke about.

 

Therefore if we consider this, we should also consider the rights we give to ‘our friends’, how we treat them, what we do for them, what we think about them and the excuses we make for them when they let us down. I ask you this, do you judge your friends the way you judge you family? I am sure many of you like me, don’t, there is a distinct line, now I am sure some of this is natural, however there is a level which needs to be changed. There is something there that we need to start rectifying, and that is in our hearts. We need to realise that our ‘friends’ are closer to us than we may think, and the effect they have on us can be enormous, as the Prophet Said as narrated in Bukhari;

 

“The example of a good companion and a bad companion is like that of the seller of musk, and the one who blows the blacksmith’s bellows.. So as for the seller of musk then either he will grant you some, or you buy some from him, or at least you enjoy a pleasant smell from him. As for the one who blows the blacksmith’s bellows then either he will burn your clothes or you will get an offensive smell from him.”

 

And therefore if this is their position, they deserve some serious attention. They need the attention that we may grant members of our very own family, as the bearing they have on us is truly immense, both in this world and the hereafter.

 

This may seem a bizarre entry, but its just from my train of thought today on the reality of friendship and the possibility that we don’t really have it. For us it is something that goes beyond that, so our most basic relationship with our friends, is that of one of brothers (sisters), and that is the starting point. And from then on it deepens to be some thing of love and then something that is the purest of love, that which leads to the muqaam of Khalil. Just have a think about this, maybe I am loosing it, or maybe I am just realising it. I leave you with the words of the Messenger of Allah, as recorded in Al-Tirmidhi.

 

“A person is likely to follow the faith of his friend, so look whom you befriend.”